


This Isn't a Date...Right?

by demfeeeels



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, basically haru is being confusing and rin's pretty confused, i got hella carried away with this thing oops, lots and lots of fluff, rin is really lovesick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5520443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demfeeeels/pseuds/demfeeeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>…I want to hold his hand…</p><p> <em>But Rin knew that wasn’t going to happen; or rather, it wasn’t going to happen the way he wanted it to happen. He wanted Haru to know about his feelings, and he wanted Haru to feel the same, but he knew he wasn’t</em> that <em>lucky.</em></p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>aka Haru keeps asking Rin to go places with him, and Rin is very frustrated because he has no idea how Haru feels about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [newamsterdam (eugenides)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=newamsterdam+%28eugenides%29).



> Hellooo, and happy holidays! ;D This fic turned out a lot longer than I expected it to, but I hope you like it anyway ^^ I apologize if it seems a bit rushed in certain areas, writing and studying for finals at the same time was pretty hard :'D
> 
> I hope you're having a nice day! <33

_C’mon Rin, just WALK IN._

…This was around the fifth time Rin was trying to convince himself to do so. He’d been in front of the café door for three whole minutes now, repeatedly putting his hand on the door-handle, and then immediately withdrawing it back to his side a few seconds later. He could see that the barista was starting to give him strange looks through the glass windows at this point.

 _Dammit_ , he thought, trying to look as normal as possible by glancing at his phone for maybe the hundredth time. _Why is this so hard?!_

Well, he’d actually already figured that out. Because, for the first time since Haru (as embarrassing as it was for Rin to say it) had seen Rin break down, and then _saved_ him, showing him a sight he’d never seen before, the two of them were going to be _alone_. Well, not really _alone,_ considering the café looked pretty crowded through the glass, but…it wasn’t like Makoto or Nagisa or Rei were here. It was just _them._

_‘I want to discuss training regiments with you.’_

That had been Haru’s response when Rin had (admittedly, with a racing heart beat and shaky hands) asked Haru _why_ he wanted to meet for coffee. Because, first of all, Rin didn’t even know Haru _drank_ coffee, and second, wasn’t asking someone out for coffee the typical way to ask them out on a date? Though obviously Rin had just been getting his hopes too high. This was _Haru,_ after all. Swimming would’ve been involved in some way or the other. Not that Rin minded, of course.

Rin glanced up one again, and the first thing he saw was that the barista’s slightly-annoyed look had turned into a full-on scowl, and, hands shaking, Rin took a deep breath and finally, _finally_ pulled the door open.

And for some reason, the first thing Rin noticed in the café were _all the couples._ People who were sitting across from each other with a certain formality, making it pretty obvious it was their first date, and couples who were snuggling together in tiny booths in the corners, sharing scarves and drinks. High-school students, college students, even a few older couples…

Rin could feel the heat rising up to his cheeks (probably because it was so warm in the café… Yeah, that was it). Dammit…was it _normal_ for a café to have this many couples in it? Rin internally slapped the side of his own head for asking such a stupid question. _Of course_ it was normal. It just…wasn’t something he usually noticed.

_I wonder why…_

And just as Rin thought that, his eyes caught sight of the _one_ person who was sitting alone at a table-for-two, silky black hair falling into the piercing, bluer-than-summer eyes Rin knew all too well. He was fiddling with the little dolphin charm hanging from his phone (Rin wasn’t gonna lie, Haru could be ridiculously cute sometimes), wearing a bluish-grey V-neck sweater over a white button down shirt, and Rin, for the second time that day, internally slapped himself for asking _another_ dumb question.

 _This isn’t a date, this isn’t a date, this isn’t a date,_ Rin tried convincing himself as he walked over to Haru’s table, struggling (and absolutely failing) to fight the steadily growing blush that was rising up to his neck and cheeks. The sea of couples surrounding them wasn’t really helping, either.

“…Rin.” Haru looked up at Rin as he pulled out his chair, and… _fuck_ , Rin thought he’d left the romantic in him, the part that used to internally swoon at the very mention of Haru’s name and imagine what their first kiss would be like, back in the past, but apparently _not._

“Yo, Haru,” Rin said, flashing Haru a grin to show Haru that, _no,_ he was NOT nervous, because they were just hanging out like normal friends would and this was most definitely _not_ a date. “What’s up?”

“…You came.”

Rin snorted. “Well, _obviously._ I said I would, didn’t I?”

“You were taking so long, I thought you maybe died on the way.”

“Hey, shut up!” Rin kicked Haru’s shin under the table, feeling his heart-rate increase like it always did when he was around Haru. It didn’t matter what they were doing, Haru never failed to excite Rin.

“Whatever. We should order,” Haru said, getting up from his seat. He paused, stopping and giving Rin this _look,_ and Rin was pretty sure that he would’ve fallen off his chair and melted into a puddle on the ground if those eyes hadn’t been pulling him in like magnets. Rin couldn’t really decipher Haru’s expression, but his eyes were…well, Rin had only ever seen Haru giving swimming pools those eyes.

“…Since I called you all the way here, I’ll pay for you. What do you want?”

“-Huh?” Rin stammered, struggling to look anywhere, _anywhere_ but the captivating blue of Haru’s eyes. “Pay?”

“Yeah, I’m paying. What do you want?”

And yet _again_ , Rin could feel the blood rushing to his face. “T-That’s not necessary…” Rin muttered, stumbling clumsily for his wallet.

Haru crossed his arms in front of his chest. “ _Rin_. What do you want?”

“Are you sure, Haru…?”

“What. Do. You. _Want._ ”

“Fine, fine,” Rin sighed, pushing his wallet back into his back-pocket. “I’ll get…hmm, whatever you’re having. …As long as there’s no mackerel in it.”

And Rin could’ve _sworn_ that Haru had smirked as he’d turned around. “Can’t promise that.”

“ _Hey!”_

But Haru was already gone, walking over to the back of the long line. Rin let out a long, shaky breath, trying to calm his out-of-whack heartbeat.

_Calm DOWN. Just because Haru’s paying for you doesn’t make this a date!_

_…Though it IS common for the person who asked the other one out to pay on a date…._

Rin let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. If he kept _this_ train of thought up, things were bound to get awkward for both of them. As much as he maybe _wanted_ this to be a date, he knew that there was a very slim chance that Haru felt the same way. He’d probably just felt the need to invite Rin since they’d just started getting along again after months of charged, angry rivalry and years and years apart.

 _…Huh._ Rin rested his chin on the palm of his hand, staring at the little pile of napkins sitting in the middle of the table. If he thought about it like that, he actually felt pretty bad. _He_ was the one who left to Australia and started everything. Maybe he should do this kind of thing for Haru once in a while…

“Rin.”

Rin looked up, Haru’s voice snapping him out of his thoughts. He was setting a tray with two cappuccinos and a slice of chocolate cake down onto the table- wait, were those _two forks?!_

_Calm down, Rin. Calm down, calm down. CALM THE FUCK DOWN._

“We can split the cake. It’s a big slice,” Haru said as he slid back into his chair, as if reading Rin’s mind.

“Oh…yeah,” Rin stammered, struggling to rip his gaze away from the forks and pick up his cappuccino instead. “What, too cheap to pay for two? I guess you’re not as generous as I thought,” Rin tried for a joke, chuckling feebly to hide his nervousness.

“Shut up,” Haru said, turning his gaze away as he sipped his cappuccino. “Shouldn’t you be thanking me for paying for you?”

Rin snorted. “Well, I guess I should. Thanks, Haru.”

“Hmph.”

They were silent for a while after that, Rin making an effort not to look at Haru _or_ the cake. He was over-exaggerating, he knew. This was a normal thing to do between friends…right?

“So…” Rin started when the silence started getting slightly overwhelming. “You still haven’t mentioned anything about training regiments.”

Haru set his cup down, looking confused. “Training regiments?”

“That’s why you called me here.”

“Oh…right.” And there was this _expression_ on Haru’s face as he rubbed the back of his neck (was he embarrassed…?), and was it Rin’s imagination, or were Haru’s cheeks kind of…pink?

“Yeah, I wanted to ask if you were using a new regiment,” Haru said, picking up the forks and handing one to Rin, moving too fast for Rin to double-check.

“That’s all?” Rin asked, tilting his head as he took a bite of cake. _…Too sweet_. “You could’ve just messaged me about it.”

“I wanted to ask you in person,” Haru said, turning his head away.

“Hmm…well, I wouldn’t say it’s a _completely_ new regiment, but I added some things, yeah,” Rin said, taking yet another bite of cake. He didn’t really like it, but Haru had paid for it. It would’ve been rude not to eat it, right?

“What did you add?” Haru asked, resting his elbows on the table and scooping up some cake onto his fork.

“Hah, like I’d tell you!” Rin grinned, prodding Haru’s forearm with the back of his fork, making him frown and swat Rin’s hand away. “I’d be letting you win if I gave myself away like that.”

“…Whatever. I don’t really need to know,” Haru said, shrugging and picking up a napkin.

“Well, I _can_ tell you that you need more-“

And Rin’s sentence was cut short as Haru leaned over the table and _fucking wiped the side of Rin’s mouth with the napkin._ And then sat back down in his seat, resting the napkin on the side of the tray like nothing happened.

“I need more…?”

“S-Strength training!” Rin stammered, snapping out of his daze and _oh god,_ he could FEEL his face burning like it was most literally on fire. “You need more strength training!”

_What the hell was that? Was that…normal? Well, anything’s normal for Haru… Calm down, calm down, don’t let Haru see how freaked out you are…_

“Rin? Are you alright?” Haru asked, concern lacing his tone as he carefully moved his hand to Rin’s forearm.

 _…Fuck_.

Well, there was no point in trying to calm down now. Rin got up, practically jumping out of his seat and making Haru pull his hand back in surprise.

“Ah, I- I suddenly remembered… Seijuuro said we were supposed to have a meeting at five…” Rin babbled, clumsily grabbing for his phone to check the time. “I…I should go. To catch the train, you know?”

“Oh…okay,” Haru said, in a tone that sounded confused, and maybe if Rin could clear his head and actually listen _properly_ …slightly disappointed. Though that was probably just Rin’s imagination at it again. “See you later.”

“Y-Yeah.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_What the FUCK was that?!_

Rin let out a groan, covering his face with his hands. He was back at Samezuka now, and he felt _ridiculous._ God knows what Haru thought of him _now_ , randomly freaking out and leaving like that.

Rin sighed, lying down on his bed, arms stretched out. He’d fucked up. Now the slim chance he had with Haru had zeroed down to practically nothing.

 _…Oh well,_ he thought, sighing and tossing to his side. _Not like it was gonna happen anyway._

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“And that’s all for today, boys! Enjoy yourselves, there’s no practice tomorrow!”

Cheers and applause erupted from the team, everyone laughing and chatting as they walked to the locker rooms, Seijuuro in the lead.

 _No practice, huh…_ Rin thought, peeling off his swimsuit and stepping underneath the showerhead. He didn’t have anything else to do tomorrow, did he? He didn’t need to go shopping for anything, and he didn’t have anything to study for either… That was rare.

_Guess I’m free tomorrow, then._

Rin zipped open his duffel bag, toweling himself off as he reached for his clothes. Oh wait, his phone was vibrating…

 _Well, that can wait_ , Rin thought, pulling on his boxers and a pair of jeans. Maybe it was Gou…? They hadn’t talked in a while, after all.

When Rin was done changing and on his way out of the locker room, he took out his phone and clicked the home button.

_< Haru, 2 unread messages, 5:01 PM>_

Rin felt his heart skip a beat, and his mind immediately went back to last week’s café incident. How Haru had looked so good in that sweater, how he and Rin had shared cake…

…and how Rin had panicked and run off like a complete wuss.

Internally groaning at the memory, Rin unlocked the phone and clicked the notifications and-

“H- _Huh?!”_

“Rin-senpai?” Ai, who’d been walking beside Rin, turned around, looking startled. “What’s wrong?”

“O-Oh, it’s nothing…” Rin stammered, struggling to regain composure. He could feel his heart beating all the way up in his throat, and his hands were shaking so hard he almost dropped his phone.

_What. The. FUCK._

The first thing Rin had seen when he’d clicked Haru’s name was a picture of a couple, arms around each other and in the middle of a passionate kiss. But now, as his heartbeat was (sort of) returning to normal and his head was clearing, he realized it was…a movie poster. The picture was slightly blurry, as if it had been taken very quickly.

 _< Have you seen this?> _Haru had written underneath the picture.

 _< what the fuck. what kind of question is that??> _Rin typed back, and _yes_ , he’d been lying about his heart-rate calming down. If anything, it was just escalating more and more by the second.

_Is Haru going to ask …?_

Rin clicked his tongue in irritation. _Of course_ not. He really had to stop thinking like that.

To his surprise, Rin felt his phone vibrate again. It was rare that Haru replied that fast.

_< Don’t dodge the question.>_

Rin sighed, leaning against a wall as he typed back. “Go on ahead; I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he told Ai, who was throwing his questioning looks at Rin at this point.

_< okay, NO, I haven’t seen it. what’s with you?>_

A pause. Then:

_< I’m free tomorrow. Do you want to go watch it?>_

And in that moment, Rin was _really_ glad that the hallway was empty. This… _sound_ escaped his throat, something in between a gasp and a mouse being stepped on, and he slid down the wall until he was crouching on the ground. Had anyone heard? Did it even matter? The only thing he could hear was the blood rushing to his ears and his heart pounding violently in his chest.

His phone vibrated again, and:

_< Only because I know you like cheesy stuff like that. I bet you’ll cry.>_

And honestly, Rin couldn’t even bring himself to get annoyed at that. He was grinning so hard it felt like his face was going to split in half, and he could feel the excitement rushing through him. Was this a date? It sure as hell _sounded_ like a date…but he could never be too sure with Haru. Rin looked down at the phone screen, contemplating if he should maybe just straight-up _ask_ …

 _No, there’s no way I’m gonna do that,_ Rin thought, shaking his head. What if Haru was just being friendly? What would he think if he’d found out about Rin’s feelings, and he _didn’t_ return them (which was most likely the case)? Things would’ve gotten awkward for both of them. Haru might’ve freaked out and stopped talking to Rin, and that was one thing Rin wasn’t going to risk.

Taking a deep breath to clear his head, Rin typed back:

_< like hell I will. but I don’t have anything on my schedule tomorrow either, so I guess I’ll come with you>_

And then he quickly added:

_< ya know, cuz you asked first>_

Another short pause, and then:

_< Okay. Tomorrow, same time?>_

_< sure>_

_< Okay, see you then.>_

_< yeah, later>_

And with that, Rin slipped his phone back into his pocket, not completely sure what to feel. He was excited that he’d get to see Haru, like he always was and probably always would be, but at the same time…there was something missing. There was this aching in his chest, and… _fuck_ , he really wanted this to be a date. Like… _really._

Rin felt his phone vibrate in his pocket yet again. Another message from Haru.

_< …I still think you’re gonna cry.>_

_< shut up, nanase>_

 

~~_~~~~~~~~~~_ ~~

 

“Please keep your cellphones off and make sure not to disturb any other viewers!” The bubbly announcer’s voice echoed through the cinema, signaling that the movie was about to start. The chattering among the audience quietened down, leaving Rin to fidget even _more_ in his seat.

He glanced at Haru _again_ (it was the twenty-eighth time since the advertisements stated, he’d been counting), and like all previous twenty-eight times, he was staring nonchalantly at the screen, sipping away at his soda. Was he really interested in watching this…? When Rin had gotten back to his room yesterday, he’d searched up the movie, and _no,_ there wasn’t a single element in the movie that involved water or swimming or mackerel or _anything_ Haru was interested in, honestly. Was he really only watching it because he thought Rin would like it…?

On screen, a group of middle-school girls was giggling as an attractive guy ( _the love interest, obviously_ , Rin thought, scooping up a handful of popcorn) walked into their classroom, introducing himself. _Huh_ … It kind of reminded Rin of this group of girls sitting behind him and Haru who had started giggling when they’d taken their seats, whispering and nudging each other, which immediately got Rin panicking and thinking: _do they think we’re dating?? We’re not dating…this isn’t a date, right?_

_…Right?_

Rin glanced over at Haru once again. He was staring at the screen, expression blank and unreadable. Rin let out a tiny sigh and refocused his gaze back to the screen. There was no point in thinking over it again and again. This _wasn’t_ a date, no matter how much it looked like it. Haru only thought of him as a friend, after all.

Gradually, Rin’s focus shifted away from Haru (…though not entirely) and to the movie. It was quite cute, if not a little cheesy. A somewhat quiet, lonely girl named Mei becomes friends with the loud, lively transfer student, Hisashi, they stay good friends until their second year of middle school, and, the same day Mei is planning to confess to him, Hisashi tells her that he’s moving to America (causing Rin, along with half of the audience to gasp).

“…Rin, you can sit back, you know.”

“Shh,” Rin replied, vaguely waving a hand at Haru to shush him. They were getting to the good part.

In Mei’s last year of high-school, Hisashi returns, and his personality is completely different. He’s irritated and angry and Mei doesn’t get _why._

“Hisashi, _no_ …” Rin whispered as he yelled at Mei on-screen, causing her to run away in tears. “How could you…?”

“It’s okay, Rin. He’ll apologize to her,” Haru said, giving Rin’s hand a quick pat.

“But how do you _know?_ ” Rin said, quickly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, hoping Haru didn’t see.

“You’ll see.”

 

 

_“Mei…I love you.”_

_“H-Hisashi-kun!”_

Rin was openly crying at this point, tears streaming down his face as Haru handed him tissue after tissue. It was just…the music and the cherry blossoms and _everything_ … _it was so_ _romantic._ After a passionate kiss between the protagonists, the end credits started rolling and people started getting up from their seats, filing out of the theater. Rin stayed there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths and wiping his face and nose to calm himself. He didn’t want to leave the cinema looking like a mess, after all.

“I told you you’d cry,” Haru said, and wait…oh god, was _Haru’s head on Rin’s shoulder?_

Rin jerked away from Haru, momentarily forgetting about where they were and the entire movie they’d just watched. How long had Haru been doing that for? And more importantly, how had Rin _not noticed?_

“What was that for?” Haru said, throwing Rin an irritated, somewhat-confused look as he rubbed the side of his neck.

“O-Oh, sorry…” Rin gave a nervous laugh before hurriedly getting up from his seat. “Let’s…let’s go.”

“…Yeah.”

And the entire walk to the train station, all Rin heard was “see, Rin, I _told_ you you’d cry” and “it’s okay, your secret is safe with me. Though it’s not really a secret, because everyone knows you’re a lame romantic…” Rin didn’t think it was possible to hear so many different variations for the same two sentences in under fifteen minutes. He also didn’t think it was possible for him to tell the same person to just _shut up_ so many times in under fifteen minutes.

 “Alright Haru, I _get it_ ,” Rin said, exasperatedly giving him a little shove. “I’m a lame romantic, I cried. Happy?”

“Yes.”

“ _You…_ ”

Rin’s metro line arrived before he could tickle Haru (he warned him that he’d do it next time they saw each other), and right before he got on, he turned around to look at Haru.

“…I’ll kill you if you tell anyone about… _that_ , okay?” He said, and to his surprise, Haru _laughed._

Well, maybe it wasn’t a laugh, but it was definitely a snort. And a _really cute_ snort, too.

“I said I wouldn’t, right?” Haru said, looking away, and this time his cheeks were _definitely_ pink.

“…Yeah, well. I guess you did,” Rin said, fighting down a blush. Haru was so cute…so cute and _pretty._ “See you later.”

“Wait, Rin!”

And for a second time, Rin turned around (he was surprised the doors hadn’t closed by now), and Haru leaned forward, grabbing his hand and giving it a quick squeeze.

“Bye.”

“Y-Yeah.”

And on the subway all the way back to Samezuka, all Rin could about was how _soft_ Haru’s hand had been, how it had been slightly smaller than his, how warm it had felt….

 _…Fuck,_ Rin finally concluded when he was back in his room, lying on his bed. _I really, REALLY want to kiss him._

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“What the hell, Haru. You said it would be _warm_.”

Rin and Haru were standing in front of the ocean, both carrying and ready with duffel bags containing their swimsuits, beach blankets, clothes and whatnot. Cold wind was blowing in their faces, and dark clouds were completely blocking out the sun at this point.

“The forecast _said_ it would be warm…” Haru said, tilting his head in confusion. “And it was really warm this morning.”

Rin clicked his tongue in irritation. “Well, it _is_ December…”

“But the forecast…”

Rin sighed. Well, it looked like they wouldn’t be swimming today. When Haru had messaged him yesterday asking him if he’d wanted to come to the beach ( _‘because the forecast says it’s going to be warm tomorrow’_ ), Rin had been pretty excited. It had been a while since he’d swum in the ocean _and_ since he’d seen Haru (the last time being two weeks ago, when they’d seen that movie). And to be honest, Rin had half expected Nagisa and Makoto and Rei to be there as well. They’d all gone to the beach plenty of times together in the summer, and Rin had never considered the beach as a “romantic” place.

“Rin, we should go,” Haru said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “It looks like a storm is on the way-“

And as if the clouds had heard Haru’s words, Rin felt a raindrop hitting his nose, the cold of it startling him. Then another one on his cheek. On his forehead, on his hand, until they were in the middle of what was obviously going to become a full-on storm in a few minutes. Not to mention they were in front of the ocean, too.

“Come on, Rin. We need to _go_ ,” Haru snapped, tugging at Rin’s arm.

“R-Right,” Rin stammered, barely audible over the loud claps of thunder. He struggled to rip his gaze away from the ocean, the tides dangerously high as waves crashed almost at their feet.

“Should we go to your house?” Rin asked, nearly yelling over the din of the storm. They were running now, Haru still in the lead (and still tightly gripping Rin’s arm), not sure of their destination but firmly _away_ from the beach.

“No, it’s too far away,” Haru said, and then abruptly stopped running, causing Rin to slam into him. “I know a place. It’s really close-by.”

 

…And that’s how Rin found himself changing in the tiny, dim-lit locker room of the Iwatobi Ice-Skating Center, which, according to Haru, had opened up recently and was a huge hit in the area. There was no shower, but Rin was grateful for the heated locker room. He could wait until he got back to Samezuka to take a hot shower.

 _Anyway, where did Haru go…?_ Rin thought, vigorously drying his hair with a towel. He’d finished changing first before hurriedly leaving, telling Rin _“wait here, I’ll be right back”._ It had been five minutes, and Haru still hadn’t returned.

 _I should check on him…_ Rin thought, stuffing his towel back into his bag and getting up, walking to the door and poking his head out. _Huh_ … For such an apparently popular place, there didn’t seem to be that much of a crowd. A group of high-school girls was sitting in the lobby, giggling over something as they took off their ice skates, and a few couples here and there. Maybe it was because of the rain…?

“Rin!”

Rin looked up, and there was Haru, casually walking towards him…with a pair of ice skates in each hand.

For some reason, the young couples giggling and holding hands seemed a lot more prominent to Rin when Haru handed him a pair. It was just…wasn’t ice-skating a distinctly “couple-y” thing to do?

 _Stop overreacting,_ Rin told himself, giving his head a quick shake. _Ice-skating’s a sport too, it doesn’t have to be romantic!_

“What’re you waiting for?” Haru asked, turning around and giving Rin his usual deadpan stare. “Don’t you want to go to the rink?”

“Oh, y-yeah!” Rin said, jogging to catch up with Haru. Even though he was trying his best to convince himself that _no_ , ice-skating wasn’t a romantic thing, he could still feel the warmth rising to his face.

“So, uh…” Rin started, desperately trying to say something to get rid of the (probably one-sided) tension in the air. “Why the sudden urge to ice-skate, Haru?”

“The rain doesn’t look like it’s going to stop anytime soon. We might as well do something while we’re here.”

And as Haru bent down to put on his skates, Rin could've sworn that he'd seen a hint of pink on his face (though maybe it was just the lighting...the lighting was always weird in ice skating rinks).

And speaking of rinks, Rin was taken aback by how _big_ it was. Rin hadn't thought it would be anything too impressive, judging from the almost-tiny locker room and waiting area. But the actual _rink_...it was _huge_ , almost professional-looking.

Rin got onto the ice (Haru was still putting on his skates), wobbling and keeping a tight grip on the railing. He'd ice-skated a few times before, a few times when he was very little and his mother took him and Gou, and when Russel and Lori had taken him in Australia. He moved around a little, still holding on to the railing, trying to remember how exactly to balance properly.

After a few minutes, he'd gotten comfortable enough to let go of the railing and skate around properly. It was always a strange feeling, gliding so lightly on the ice, but Rin liked it. He was going pretty fast now, barely passing a couple who were holding hands, laughing as they shakily skated together.

 _I wonder where Haru is..._ Rin suddenly thought (most definitely _not_ because of the couple). He glanced around, and-

"Haru?!"

Haru was at the entrance of the rink, completely _sitting his ass_ down on the ice. He was struggling to get up, his expression becoming more and more frustrated by the second. 

Rin knew that he maybe should've been concerned, or at least gone over to help him up, but instead his first reaction was to burst out laughing. He shakily skated over to the railing, clutching it as he struggled to maintain balance.

"Shut up, Rin," Haru practically growled when Rin skated nearer, his face tinged red from either exertion or embarrassment. Rin was still giggling, teasingly skating in circles around Haru but making no effort to help him up.

"What is it, Haru~? Don't know how to skate?" Rin grinned as Haru's cheeks got even redder. "Who knew that such a graceful swimmer wouldn't even be able to stand up on the ice?"

"Swimming has nothing to do with skating."

"Ice is frozen water, though."

"Just...just help me up," Haru mumbled, turning his face away as he tried getting up once again (only to fall back onto his ass).

"Fine, fine," Rin chuckled, extending his hand to Haru. "Only 'cause I feel bad."

"Shut up..." Haru said, grabbing Rin's hand and shakily pulling himself up - before _completely_ losing his balance again and falling straight into Rin's arms.

_Oh...OH._

Despite the freezing air around them, Rin could feel his face pricking with heat until it actually felt like it was _burning_. Haru's body was completely pressed against his, and he was gripping onto the back of Rin's jacket like his life depended on it.

And even though Rin was starting to feel the heat rush to where it REALLY shouldn't have been going in that moment, he made no attempt to get Haru off of him. But that was only because Haru couldn't skate, right? If he pushed Haru away, Haru would've fallen back down on his ass. That was definitely the reason, right?

Definitely not because of the way Rin could feel the faint outline of Haru's pecs and abs pressed against his, or because of the way Haru's breath felt against the crook of his neck, all hot and-

_Okay, ENOUGH._

Rin pulled himself away from Haru, quickly grabbing his hand before he could fall and skating them both back to the railings. He took a few deep breaths, silently praying that Haru wouldn't look down.

_Don't think of Haru, don't think of Haru, don't think about Haru's BREATH-_

"Rin? Are you okay?" Haru asked, tone laced with confusion.

"Y-Yeah, just..." Rin stammered, hurriedly pulling his hand away from Haru's when he realized he was still holding it. “Just...wait here for a second."

And then Rin took _off,_ skating at an almost alarming pace as everyone he passed turned to look at him, concerned. But the cold air was really helping in terms of getting rid of the little... _situation_ he had going on down there. Haru's breath against his neck, their bodies pressed together... A little shiver ran up Rin's spine. But he couldn't think about that _now_.

No, _that_ was an image he'd save for later.

"What was that about?" Haru grumbled when Rin got back. He was still clutching onto the railing, struggling to maintain balance. "Trying to show off your skating skills?"

"Heh, I guess I _would’ve_ looked pretty impressive to someone who can't even skate." Rin smirked, going back into teasing mode. He'd almost forgotten about what had just happened after his aggressive skating. Well... _almost._

"But seriously, have you really _never_ gone ice skating before?" Rin asked, leaning on the railing beside Haru.

"Does it look like it?" Haru muttered, turning his face away.

"Well, I'll just have to teach you, then." Rin had no idea where that sudden boldness came from, especially since he had the tendency to freak out even if Haru was just _beside_ him. But...if there was one thing Rin knew he liked, it was the feeling of Haru's hand in his. And even if this wasn't a date, even if he'd _never_ go on a date with Haru and hold hands with him in a romantic way...he wanted to feel it anyway.

"...Okay." Haru held out his hand to Rin, face as unreadable as ever. Rin took a deep breath, taking Haru's hand, and then the other.

"O-Okay, first you've gotta learn to move properly," Rin started, pulling them both forward. "Bend your knees a little- yeah, like that, and move your legs like _this."_ Rin gestured at the way he was sliding his legs over the ice.

"Like this?" Haru's face was so concentrated that Rin had the sudden urge to pinch his cheek because of how _cute_ he looked.  
   
"Yeah, like that," Rin said, slowly loosening his grip on Haru's right hand. "Now try doing that while holding one hand."

Rin let go, moving to skate beside Haru now rather than in front of him. Haru's movements were shaky at first, but Rin could see that he was slowly getting the hang of it.

_We must look just like a couple right now..._

But strangely enough, the thought didn't want to make Rin jerk away in embarrassment like it had before. If anything, it made Rin hold Haru's hand even tighter. His cheeks felt warm, but it wasn't the kind of pricking, burning warmth he'd usually feel. This warmth was nice, spreading to his chest and his stomach and making him feel… _happy_ somehow. Really happy.

"Rin? Am I doing okay?"

"Huh?" Haru's voice snapped Rin out of his thoughts, and he realized that he'd been staring at Haru with a big, dumb grin on his face.

"Yeah, you're doing great," Rin hurriedly said, quickly moving his gaze from Haru's face to his legs instead. He really _was_ doing great, considering Rin had just started teaching him ten minutes ago.

"Should I let go of this one now?" Rin called out, loosening his grip on Haru's hand. To his surprise, Haru's grip tightened, clearly not wanting that.

"What if I fall?" Haru mumbled, looking away as Rin threw him a questioning glance.

Rin felt the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. He moved closer to Haru, so close that their shoulders were touching, and gave Haru's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"You won't, don't worry."

And with that, Rin let go of Haru's hand. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The walk to the metro station was quiet, but definitely not in a bad way. It wasn't an overwhelming, awkward, air-as-charged-as-lighting kind of quiet, but rather a soft, warm kind of quiet, like the intimacy they'd shared at the rink was still with them (and maybe it was).

And speaking of the rink, Haru had learned how to ice-skate _fast._ After half-an-hour, he'd been gliding around with no problem, nearly as fast as Rin (though not quite). After a few races (all which Rin had won), they'd basically spent the rest of their time skating in circles around each other, occasionally catching each other's eyes and smiling.

It was probably the most intimate, romantic moment he'd had with Haru; heck, with _anyone,_ but there was this tiny thing gnawing at his head and heart telling him that it _still_ wasn't a date. No matter how romantic, or how intimate. Haru still didn't know about his feelings, and he had absolutely NO clue about how Haru felt towards him.

_What if I just…_

And seriously, what if he just _grabbed_ Haru's hand right now, just like at the rink, and told him exactly how he felt? What was the worst that could happen?

_Well, Haru could stop talking to you, and you'd be back at square one._

Rin clenched his fist. That _could_ happen, definitely, but... He felt this need to tell Haru his feelings, this strong urge that wouldn't let him rest easy until he knew how Haru felt about him. The atmosphere around them wasn't really helping either, with the sun freshly set and the sky an almost glowing blue. The air had that "after-rain" smell, and the sidewalks and roads were wet and shiny. Maybe he should-

"Rin?"

"Yeah?" Rin replied all too fast. He relaxed his hand back into its normal position, not realizing how tightly he'd been clenching it.

"I wanted to ask...are you free this Tuesday?"

Rin felt his heart skip a beat in his chest, though he probably should've been used to that by now. Haru had been asking him to a ton of places, but that didn't mean he was asking him _out._

"Let me think..." Rin quickly skimmed over his schedule. "Yeah, after swim practice. Why're you asking?"

"Do you want to...come downtown with me?"

Rin raised an eyebrow. "Downtown? You need a new swimsuit or something?"

"No..." Haru was looking firmly at the ground now, his ears clearly red.

"I mean, I don't _mind_ coming with you, but what are we gonna do there?" Rin asked, genuinely confused.

"I thought...I thought we could go see the lights and stuff..." Haru's voice was a barely-audible mumble now, and that's when it suddenly hit Rin.

_Tuesday is...December twenty-fourth._

_...Christmas Eve._

_…OH._

And suddenly Rin's face felt _hot_ , not warm but a burning, tingling sensation. Christmas Eve...Christmas Eve was the most romantic night in Japan, literally considered a "couples' night". It was an even bigger deal than Valentine's Day or, well... _anything_.

Rin looked over at Haru once again. He was still looking firmly at the ground, and his ears seemed to have become an even darker shade of red than before.

And Rin opened his mouth, nearly, _nearly_ asking Haru if this was a date or not, before he remember that this was _Haru._ Haru was different from everyone he'd ever met. Haru was weird, Haru had his own ways. Who knew what was going on in Haru's head?

So Rin shut his mouth, took a deep breath and replied:

"Sure. Why not?"

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm going out, Ai. I should be back at around nine."

Ai sat up on his bunk, giving Rin a surprised look.

"I didn't know you had a date, senpai!"

Rin felt his cheeks growing hot. "I'm not going on a _date."_

Ai raised his eyebrows. "It's Christmas Eve, and you're dressed like you're going on a date."

"They're not _that_ formal," Rin said, looking down at his clothes. He was dressed pretty normally, except for maybe the coat he'd thrown on as an afterthought. It was a nice coat, the black material thick and velvety and reaching about mid-thigh. But he'd obviously only worn that because it was _cold,_ definitely not because he wanted to look nice around Haru.

"Then where are you going, senpai?" Ai asked, his eyebrows still raised.

"I'm just...going out with Haru," Rin replied, firmly looking away as Ai's eyebrows shot even higher.

"Only you and Haru? Nobody else?"

"Y-Yeah..."

He half-expected Ai to make another comment about dating or whatnot, but instead he lay back down on his bunk.

"Alright. Have fun, senpai," he said, and as Rin hurried out the door, he could tell that Ai had been smiling. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The whole metro ride, Rin had been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of _couples_ everywhere. There seemed to be only couples around at this time, holding hands and giggling and putting their arms around each other. It was making Rin...anxious, somehow. The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering at maximum speed, and even though he _knew_ that this wasn't a date...

 _Is Haru really THAT clueless, though?_ Rin wondered, shuffling his feet against the ground. Like...he _knew_ how Haru pretty much didn't care about any sort of social norm, but...it was Christmas Eve, for fuck's sake. And it's not like Haru was a foreigner, he'd lived in Japan his whole life.

"Please watch your step and be mindful of others while getting out," the announcer’s voice rang out, and Rin realized that the doors had opened.

He hurriedly walked out of the train and into the crowded station, barely dodging the sea of couples surrounding him. The station was decorated for Christmas, with a huge, lavishly decorated tree in the middle and lights everywhere.

Stepping out of the station and into the cold air, Rin checked the time on his phone. _7:06 PM_. He was supposed to meet Haru near the station at seven. He wrapped his coat tighter around himself and started increasing his pace.

"Rin?"

Rin whipped around, and _there_ was Haru (and admittedly, a _very_ nicely dressed Haru) jogging towards him. Despite the fact that Rin wasn't even wearing a scarf (and it was _freezing_ ), he felt the heat rushing up to his neck and face. Had he ever seen Haru in a beanie? No, Rin probably would've remembered it. _Definitely_ would’ve remembered it. And he wasn't even going to start on how fucking _sexy_ those black skinny jeans looked on Haru, hugging his legs (and ass) so nicely...

"Oh...um, hi." Rin said as Haru caught up with him, hurriedly trying to shoo those thoughts away. This was a very inappropriate time to get a boner.

"Hi."

"Sorry I was kinda late. Were you waiting long?"

Haru turned his face away, covering in mouth with his scarf. "It's fine, I just got here."

They were silent for a moment, and all Rin could think was _is this a date? It could be a date... But Haru probably would've told me straight up. He's not the kind of guy who would be indirect..._

Haru cleared his throat, snapping Rin out of his thoughts.

"Should we go?"

"Oh...yeah. Sure."

They started walking, and Rin was hyper-aware of how _close_ Haru was standing to him, their shoulders brushing with each step. ...But it was probably because he was cold, right? Despite how sexy those jeans looked on Haru, they didn't look very warm.

"So, uh...how was -" Rin was about to say 'swim practice', and then he realized that Iwatobi didn't _have_ an indoor pool.

"How was...?" Haru said, giving Rin a questioning look.

"Y-Your day! How was your day?" Rin asked hurriedly, desperately trying to think of something to break the ice.

"It's was okay, I guess," Haru said, putting his hands into his pockets. "...I was waiting to see you."

It was just like Haru to say something like that, something that got his face all warm and his heart racing. Now _how_ was he supposed to respond to something like that? See, if they were dating, Rin probably could’ve said something romantic or…well, _something_. But all he could do right now was awkwardly look down at his feet and hope that Haru didn’t think he was being rude.

Luckily, it was at that moment they’d entered downtown, and Rin was so entranced by the… _festivity_ that he forgot about his frustration and confusion for a second. The decorations over here made the station’s decorations look like _child’s play_.

There was a huge, _huge Christmas_ tree in the middle of the area, decorated with red and gold and silver ornaments and absolutely _wrapped_ in lights, and a star to top it off. Every single other leafless tree that Rin’s eyes could catch was covered in lights, glowing either light blue or white. Big, glowing snowflakes were dangling overhead all the people on the streets, families and friends and couples (…mostly couples). Everything seemed to be… _shining_ , somehow.

“…Wow,” Haru murmured, nearly inaudible.

…But nothing was going to beat Haru’s eyes in terms of radiance at the moment. Rin turned to look at Haru, who was staring at everything in wonderment, blue eyes huge and almost _glowing_ around all of the lights. Rin felt his heart skip a beat in his chest before quickly turning away, realizing he’d been staring for a moment too long.

“Let’s go closer to the tree,” Haru said, turning around to look at Rin, his eyes still filled with this sense of _awe_ that Rin couldn’t help but smile at. He’d never seen Haru this excited about something, except maybe Samezuka’s pool.

“Yeah, sure.” And with that, they started walking, Haru in the lead. Though Rin _could’ve_ admired the view of Haru’s backside from here, he instead found himself looking at his hand instead. His mind immediately wandered back to when they’d been ice-skating together, or when Haru had squeezed his hand after the movie.

_…I want to hold his hand…_

But Rin knew that wasn’t going to happen; or rather, it wasn’t going to happen the way he _wanted_ it to happen. He wanted Haru to know about his feelings, and he wanted Haru to feel the same, but he knew he wasn’t _that_ lucky.

The crowds got thicker as they got closer to the tree, and Rin had to admit, it was even bigger than he’d thought. Rin felt pretty tiny in comparison. He turned around to face Haru, and was surprised to see that Haru was already looking directly at him.

“Rin, I-"

“Rin-chan! Haru-chan!”

Both of them turned around, startled. Much to Rin’s surprise, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei were a few feet in front of them, walking towards them.

“What are you guys doing here?” Haru asked, looking confused.

“Jeez, I was gonna ask you the same thing, Haru-chan!” Nagisa said, pouting.

Makoto let out a laugh. “I know you said you had plans, Haru, but you never mentioned you were coming here too!” Haru didn’t say anything, only turning his face away.

“Are you and Rin-san also here to see the Christmas decorations, Haruka-senpai? They’re always set up incredibly beautifully,” Rei said, passionately putting a hand to his chest.

“Though if you wanted to see the lights, why didn’t you just come with us?” Makoto wondered out loud. “You knew we were coming here.”

“Oooh, maybe Rin-chan and Haru-chan are on a date!” Nagisa exclaimed, grinning mischievously.

“N-No, we’re _not_ ,” Rin stammered hurriedly, feeling the heat rising to his face.

“I don’t know, Rin-chan, you seem pretty embarrassed,” Nagisa said, waggling his eyebrows. “So _are_ you guys on a secret date?”

And to Rin’s utter astonishment, he felt Haru’s hand slip into his, all warm and soft, and give it a little squeeze.

“Yeah, we are.”

_…What. WHAT._

“W- _What?!_ ” Rin was surprised he hadn’t died from a heart attack at this point. Haru was…holding his hand, saying they were on a _date?! What the actual FUCK?!_

Haru turned to Rin, giving him a pointed look. “Obviously. Why would I ask you out alone on Christmas Eve if it wasn’t a date?”

Rin couldn’t speak for a moment, his brain running a million miles per second and his heart beating wildly in his chest. “So…so the coffee shop, and the movies, and the ice-skating… They were all…”

Haru let out a sigh, leaning his head against Rin’s shoulder. “ _Yes_ , Rin, those were all dates. Took you long enough.”

“I didn’t think you were the kind of person to be clueless, Rin-chan!” Nagisa said, grinning.

“I- I’m _not_ \- I wasn’t –“ Rin stammered. It felt like he was fucking _floating_ right now. He was so happy he could’ve started crying right there. “But why didn’t you just _tell_ me they were dates?!”

To Rin’s surprise, Haru turned his face away, looking embarrassed. “I didn’t know how you felt…”

Rin couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute Haru looked when he got flustered. “Yeah…yeah, I felt the same way.”

“Anyway, we should probably go now,” Makoto said, looking at Nagisa and Rei. “We don’t want to interrupt them, right?”

They said goodbye and walked off (with Nagisa turning around and yelling “use protection!”, much to Rin’s horror), leaving Rin and Haru alone under the tree, still holding hands.

“Did you…did you really mean it when you said you felt the same?” Haru said quietly, moving closer to Rin.

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Rin chuckled, squeezing Haru’s hand. “I was actually about to ask _you_ whether they were dates or not, but I thought…”

“What did you think, Rin?”

“…I thought that you wouldn’t feel the same, so I’d freak you out and you’d stop talking to me…” Rin said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

And to Rin’s surprise, Haru _laughed._ Rin turned his head to face Haru, only to find that Haru was leaning up and already facing him.

“Why would I ever stop talking to you?” Haru whispered, their faces mere inches apart. “I wouldn’t be able to do that, even if I tried.”

Rin’s hands were moving up to cup Haru’s cheeks now, pulling his face even closer. He could feel Haru’s arms snaking around his waist, pulling Rin in so their bodies were pressed up against each other’s.

“…Yeah, me too,” Rin murmured, and then gently closed the gap between their lips. 

And honestly, Rin couldn't have asked for a better first kiss.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Look at these romantic losers :P Anyway, I hope you liked this thing!! Happy holidays  <3


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